Where is it?

Every now and again I like to pretend that I am going to be healthy. This most recent time had me scouring the City webpage to find out where their fitness centers and pools are. That is the first problem - not easy at all to find on their homepage.

 Scrolling down, it seems like it might be under the "Activities and Recreation" section.

Nope.







So then I thought I would use their drop down menu that is probably there to make things easy... Well, I could get to it from there but it's not super clear as you can only get to it by selection "Community Centres" - which to me is not quite the same thing - but at least it takes me to a page with a menu in the left column that will take me where I want to go.

Once I finally found the page (also available after multiple clicks on the "Residents" tab) I started looking at my options.

One of them is the Eldon Ross Pool, which, according to the Homepage for this pool, it is located in the North End.

Nope. Not even a little bit. It is definitely on the wrong side of the tracks to even be remotely considered the North End. But, there is the helpful link to the "now" (Neighbourhoods of Winnipeg) tab! Ah yes, it is in the Brooklands Neighbourhood.

 I didn't bother to look at all of their listings, perhaps this is the only error. My guess would be that it's not, but last time I checked, this gig is a volunteer one (that occasionally gets me invites to events that have food. I like food). *EDIT* I went and looked, at least one other is wrong. It lists the North Centennial Pool as being in Point Douglas (and the "now" map says Dufferin).

But I guess I'm just curious as to how it ever got listed as being in the North End in the first place?? If the people doing our City website don't even know the boundaries of the common names given to the large areas of town perhaps it's no wonder that the media don't either. Haha, kidding, I totally expect them to know. For those of you not from Winnipeg, the North End has a very very very clear boundary to the south, a ginormous rail yard, this pool is most certainly to the south of that.

I've tried to figure it out, maybe they labeled it according to City Council wards? That could explain why North Centennial is listed as Point Douglas... oh wait, but Eldon Ross is still not in the North End (as there is no North End ward), nor does a Grant Park ward exist for the Pan Am pool as it is listed as being in. Maybe we are talking Provincial boundaries on the City website? Nope that doesn't fit either.

Basically, TL:DR - someone dropped the ball and the City of Winnipeg website needs some fine tuning!

I never thought I'd write this post

Spa Cosmo - with freshly squeezed juices

That title is such clickbait! But no really, I never thought I'd write this post - partly because I'm a horrible procrastinator and it reached a point where I thought I may never write it (was waiting for "the perfect time") and also because it's about to say nice things about a chain restaurant, and not just because they fed me. Although, to be fair, if they hadn't offered to feed me I probably never would have gone there again.

What mysterious chain am I talking about? Well, JOEY.

Blueberry Mojito

I had been there a couple times before, always to the Polo Park location, once shortly after it opened for dinner where the service wasn't great and my cashew-something-or-rather failed to have cashews in it, and then a few times for drinks and appies. To be perfectly honest, I wasn't generally rushing back there. Then they invited me to come and try their new summer menu. Admittedly, I was just in for the free food as my stance on such invites is that free ___________ does not equate a glowing blog post. It may get praise, silence, or, if whatever you've given me is truly horrid, it may get a scathing review.

Well, colour me surprised.

Other than the negative first impression of a half naked hostess leading me into their light filled indoor/outdoor patio space, I really truly enjoyed myself. Having spent the last mutters something unintelligible years working in chain restaurants, I'm generally a little cynical. Many just do not so creative things with standard ingredients from suppliers like Sysco. Even if I choose to believe only a portion of the pro-Joey propaganda that we were fed on the side, no one can argue with the sheer amount of things that are fresh squeezed, baked or portioned. Just like at your favourite local foodie haunt, it in theory is possible that JOEY could run out of a best-seller one dinner service because of demand. 

Mezze Plate

They allowed us to try all of the items on their new summer menu, including the Mezze Plate which reminded me of my travels to Europe and Korean Fried Cauliflower, which has a sweet chili sauce component that I'm a sucker for. Giving us their Spa Cosmo and Blueberry Mojito to try was also a nice touch!

THAT. That is a watermelon radish!

Lobster and Prawn Ravioli

Sliders Royale

The 500 Salad made me want to find watermelon radish and put it as a garnish on everything I make. The salad, which has wheat berry, (whatever that is), was also really great. A skeptical seafood eater, I really enjoyed the Lobster and Prawn Ravioli (lobster packed ravioli, white wine cream sauce, topped with grilled prawns, and fresh dill) although you might want to plan to eat that on a gym day to ease the guilt of such a decadent comfort food!




Other dishes we got to try were the Sliders Royale, Roti Chicken Club and all three of their desserts: Key Lime Pie, Baked to order Apple Pie and Molten Lava Chocolate Souffle.

Lava!

So again, colour me surprised, but JOEY Restaurants really truly does seem to be passionate about food and perhaps my dislike of chain restaurants needs to change... a smidge. It's like hating a band because they play an arena instead of a smoky dive bar - maybe *some* of the chains have gotten where they are because of dedication and passion for what they do. Although, someone still needs to put some clothes on the female staff.

Key Lime and Apple pies

 

Officially, it doesn't really exist

The North End that is. Today the City released their new "Neighbourhoods of Winnipeg" section of their website (ok, for all I know it's always been there, but I saw people talking about it on Twitter today so I think it's new). Did you know that Winnipeg has 236 neighbourhoods? I sure didn't.

Interesting, because as we all know, whenever anything bad happens it is generally blamed on one of 3 areas: the North End, the West End and Downtown. According to the interactive map, none of these "neighbourhoods" actually exist. Their map is drawn on top of a Google map and even though Google (and the rest of us) calls it Downtown, it's actually South Portage.

Now, of course, I don't necessarily expect anyone (read: media) to always be super specific when detailing where an event happened, but maybe that's the way it should be, for accuracy. That way we avoid the many slip ups that erroneously blame one neighbourhood for another one's troubles. Because it's pretty much always related to troubles. Take for example the sinkhole that happened in Garden City, which for the record actually does exist as a neighbourhood called Garden City.

Now, the CBC reported the story saying it was in the North End. I believe they originally had it in the body of the story as well as the caption of the photo, but I'm not 100% sure because when I saw it, it was just the caption. But the comments section makes me think it was probably the body at first as well. One comment, by GoodN1GHT stood out to me in particular (after another commenter pointed out that this intersection was not in fact in the North End):

"If there is a shooting in Tuxedo, Tuxedo temporarily becomes part of the North End. It helps to keep outsiders thinking that Winnipeg's problems are in one small area."

I agree with this statement, but would also add that it keeps locals thinking the same thing.

I've been harping about this for literally years. Now, CBC did change their story/caption, but the internet, like an elephant, never forgets. This screenshot shows all the various other agencies, websites and so on that picked up their story - their stories never got changed. Also notice that I didn't bother to capitalize "North End" in my search - neither did the CBC in their original caption... I realized technically someone could refer to any part of the city by its direction, yes, Garden City is in the the north end of Winnipeg. However, in a city that has two neighbourhoods that already unofficially go by North End and West End, the way to state this without confusion would be to say "on the north side of the city" or something like that. I'm also about 99% certain that this story (like every other) didn't mean to inform people that it happened somewhere in the the northern part of the city. Obviously, when talking about a sinkhole it's not horrible to "accuse" the wrong neighbourhood, but the same can't be said for crime.


Winnipeg, especially in the core areas, has a huge PR problem already. Our media needs to realize that they are the ones who can help change that. People who choose to remain uniformed about what is really going on around them will keep reading headlines and making snap decisions based on that information. It's very easy to hate the North End or West Broadway (okay, well it was easy to hate it back in like, the 90s) when that's all you hear before or after the words stabbing and murder.

Challenge people and their perceptions. Maybe we do need to utilize the boundaries of the 236 neighbourhoods. In which case, I really don't like Eric Coy and all of its ditches. Or Elmhurst for that matter. If this isn't the way we go (because it would be very tedious to figure out every time, that's why we already have the broader neighbourhood terms), then we need to have the media adapt a standard format such as the ### block of Any St. (kudos does go to the Winnipeg Sun for often doing exactly this). This will slowly help retrain the brains of those that make their decisions based on media headlines.

As for defining those broader neighbourhood labels, I think asking organizations that have those labels in the name what their boundaries are - like the West End Biz, or the North End Community Renewal Corporation and so on would be a good start. If there are differences then maybe everyone just needs to sit down and hammer it out, once and for all.

(sorta) Famous North End houses for sale!

Well, we all know that I spend an excessive amount of time looking at the MLS, especially at houses here in the North End. Well, there are two houses of interest (ok, I'm stretching it here, but I need to share my discoveries with someone).

The first house may or may not have had Samuel L. Jackson inside. I don't know if he brought any of the motherfu$kin' snakes from the plane. I also can't say for sure if he was in the house because all the ad states is that his upcoming film "Reasonable Doubt" was filmed in the home, no guarantee he was in the scene.

See the listing for 255 Burrows here. $134,900 for a house that may or may not have been graced by the presence by Mr. Jackson seems like a bargain. Heck, I'm sure the sentence Go the F**k to Sleep has been uttered in this neighbourhood before, although probably shouted from one neighbour to another...

Next is a fun one.

495 Dufferin doesn't mention its brush with fame in the ad, but that's why you have me around, to make sure you're up on the media attention that this house has gotten in the past!

You may remember this house from such media showings such as the Evening News! Now this supposedly formerly dilapidated home can be yours for only $83,900!

 

Of course the ad claims that the house has been totally re-done, but ever the cynic I am I figure that if I was trying to sell a super nice house that had just been gutted to the studs and redone I would include pictures in my listing. But that might just be me. Oh, and the fact that this house has been for sale almost constantly since the media firestorm last May also makes me a little skeptical. I'm going to suggest that this house is best bought as a tear down and that you build a shiny new house in its place - it would help to repair a black mark here in the North End.

There you have it; your chance to own some vaguely famous houses in the North End.

It's not my fault

Since I know the readership of my blog although it goes far and wide (Qatar, haven't seen you lately, where you at?) it doesn't have a massive readership so I doubt it was me that ruined it...

Last May I blogged about the Aeroplan Star Challenge and volunteered to take a flight on Virgin's Upper Class. No one has offered me that ticket yet (hint, hint). I did however complete the challenge and received my 16,500 Aeroplan points.

Aeroplan has rolled out the Star Challenge again this year, although they've tweaked it quite a lot in their favour. I spent some time reading their terms and conditions and like much of the Aeroplan reward program it leans towards helping the rich stay rich (the people who benefit the most from Aeroplan perks probably don't even pay for their own tickets yet they, not the person who pays for them, get all the freebies).

Chuck the Channel Cat in Selkirk (thanks Wikipedia)

So this time you can earn up to 25,000 Aeroplan points which is pretty impressive. To put that in perspective that means a ticket to anywhere in continental Canada or the US. However, they wised up a little bit this time and now have a minimum spend required in order to accumulate the stars in the promotion. Last time it was theoretically possible to get a free flight from one province to the next (the value of the points available) for about $40. This time the average person is looking at a minimum spend of about $470.

Broken down to the simplest form the program goes like this: Collect 100 stars to receive your 25,000 points. Chances are if you are an avid Aeroplan collector you have some sort of affiliated Visa card, so that gets you 5 stars right of the bat. You also get 1 star for registering. Great, only 94 to go. You receive 2 stars for every eligible purchase at an online retailer through their eStore, however this time it excludes eBay which was a source of many of my stars last time. You also get two stars for an in-person shop at a storefront retailer. Ones that the average Winnipegger is likely to shop at? Esso, Rexall, Sobeys and Home Hardware (when visiting rural relatives or Chuck the Channel Cat).

There are a bunch of other basically fake opportunities to earn stars with flights and car rentals but they almost all require that you both purchase and complete those during the contest period (March 11 - April 10). No one can afford to fly Air Canada without strategic planning months in advance grabbing sale prices, who are they kidding. Ditto goes for earning points with hotel stays with Aeroplan partners - no booking on a cheaper site (not eligible for Aeroplan normally) nope, you need to book directly with the hotel which almost always costs more. Do you know who might benefit from that? Business travellers who already earn hundreds of thousands of Aeroplan miles a year.

There is one slightly attainable way to earn extra stars, by using your CIBC card at special Aeroplan Bonus restaurants. You will earn one extra star as well as double the Aeroplan points on your transaction. Of course this means you will also spend way more than $470 to collect the 25,000 points. In Winnipeg restaurants include Hermano's, Chamberlyn's, Hu's, Wasabi, Deadfish, Star Grill, Carbone Pizza and Olympia Diner. If you live outside Winnipeg use this website to find restaurants in your area. Maximum of 5 stars through this method.

So since I can't imagine when I might have more money then time, so I expect to put $10 worth of gas into my car every day at Esso starting Monday (hopefully this can cover about 20 of my transactions, although I don't usually go through $200 of gas in a month, maybe I'll have to roadtrip somewhere...). I will also become a regular at Sobey's.

It's basically a promotion that is designed to have people fail which is great for Aeroplan, not great at all for consumers. If they run this promotion again and if it's tweaked to their advantage any further I won't be able to participate so I might as well go for it one last time.

A job (not) well done

As I've written before, it's nice to see the City finally (threaten to) start to hold Emterra accountable for not fulfilling their contract, all it took was rich folk not getting served properly. Please read that last sentence in the as-yet-to-be-developed "dripping with disdain" font.

The latest bee in my bonnet is the annual fall street cleaning. I have a corner lot and I spend an extraordinary amount of time keeping my curb clean throughout the summer, sweeping up the dirt and garbage, all for the sake of neighbourhood pride. Twice a year though, I don't have to do it. I look forward to the street cleaning in a way that normal people probably don't even think of. Not only will someone else haul away all the crap, but the street will actually be scrubbed down with water!

So imagine my disappointment when this is what I returned home to yesterday:

I was working from home yesterday so I know that there were no cars parked on the street, so what could the reason for this be? Laziness would be my guess. Now, I have emailed 311 to ask who does the street cleaning, the City or a subcontractor, but of course it could take up to 48 hours to have my email answered. There is also no guarantee that they will have an answer.

Could you get away with this level of completion at your job? "Yeah boss, I got it mostly done." This isn't a task that has different stages to it. There is no room for interpretation. Either the street is clean, or it isn't. And my street isn't.

Now, are they going to send someone back to complete the job properly? My guess would be no. Are they still going to pay whoever did this their full payment (particularly if this was a subcontractor)? My guess is probably. Will my complaint serve any purpose other than making someone in some City department think that there are bigger things in life to worry about it and would this stupid woman just shut up and go away?

I just think keeping the City accountable for all the little things will remind them that all of what they spend our tax dollars on is important. Over time, wasting dollars on things like this adds up to the things (like dodgy land swaps and over-budget buildings) that it is easy to catch them on.

If a tree falls in the forest...

...and that forest is in the North End, does it make a sound? Nope, but it sure does if it's in South Winnipeg.

And if that forest isn't a forest, but poor garbage service, it makes a sound within 10 days.

"The department made it clear there would be some kinks that would have to be worked out the first little while. It's not unreasonable to give them a reasonable amount of time to work out the kinks. After that, there are penalties that should be implemented on the contractor," Katz said  ... If problems such as missed collections persist, the city could take work away from the company, she added. - From the Winnipeg Free Press

Now, I wrote a post back in August, specifically about the NEW garbage service, for which I know some of my neighbours are still having trouble with theirs (well over the one month grace period). I have also been questioning, literally for years, asking someone to get back to me about the specifics of the contracts that the City has for garbage pickup. In fact, I am still waiting on a response from Councillor Eadie to an email I sent months ago.

What specifically have I been asking? I've asked what the penalties are for the contractor not fulfilling the contract. For example, when I, on many many MANY occasions have called in bulky waste to be picked up, only to have it continue to sit there and then follow up with 311 only to be told that that case has been marked as "closed" (or completed). I've questioned why we are paying a contractor who gets paid per piece* (or rather, ticket, which contains up to 6 bulky items) who fraudulently claims they have done the work. *To be fair, I've not actually been able to verify that this is how their contract is set up, however it has been expressed verbally to me that the system runs along those lines.

Can you imagine the uproar if you tried any of this cr@p at your job? "Oh hey boss, I know I'm supposed to have this report in today, I'll get to it within a few days, I'm just running behind" and a few days later "what do you mean all the pages of the report are blank? I totally completed it, file closed. What's that, do it again and you'll give me the same wage to do what I already got paid to do, but didn't?" Sign me up to work for the City please!

This type of garbage nonsense has been going on in our Neighbourhood for years, but hey, the rest of Winnipeg goes 10 days with poor service and the Mayor is calling for action. He must not be friends with the owner of Emterra.

Well, it's 50% solved

So you'll recall this time last week I was a little choked because of the lacklustre garbage and recycling services being provided around my neighbourhood.

You'll be thrilled to know, that after many many phone calls and emails to 311 by myself and neighbours (at least 3 neighbours that I spoke to reported the same garbage all over the boulevard from where the bin used to be) this morning it was FINALLY being picked up. Of course, that was as I left the house, it remains to be seen how good of a job they will do. I say that because, while I'm thrilled that someone was finally dispatched, it seems as though it was a man with a giant claw machine - not sure if he's going to manually pick up the festering dirty diapers that the claw doesn't quite manage to snag.

Please pretend I have awesome graphic design skills and was able to create some sort of crazy graphic merging the claw of garbage into the claw toy machine. Ideally the end result would depict the falling garbage morphing into the toys left in the machine to have full dramatic effect.

So, I suppose for now, we will call that a win. However, the fact that my recycling was not picked up AGAIN last Friday is a big tick in the losing column. It also was not picked up on Saturday. Or Monday. So based on my call with 311 a few weeks ago, I guess today is my last hope, other than waiting for my next scheduled day, Friday. At which point my bin will almost be overflowing.

I was also told that the contractor would provide reasons for missed pick-ups but that it could take up to 24 hours for that comment to be entered into the system. I requested that reason to be emailed to me, and it still hasn't been (and that's for the August 10th pick-up).

I know it may seem petty to be quite so obsessed with the garbage and recycling pick-up (not the bulky waste pickup, as I don't think anyone thinks that is unjustified) but it's a very steep, slippery, slope. Imagine if you will, in my slightly more crime infested neighbourhood that you need to put a easily meltable bin full of combustibles out for pick-up. Now, sure, you could get up at the crack of dawn so that it was out for the 7am start of collection, or, you could be like most people, and put it out the night before - and then toss and turn with every siren that drives by hoping that its not your bin (and then your fence/garage/house) on fire. Now imagine that it doesn't get picked up and you have to repeat that the next night. Imagine, that since some genius decided that the North End would have Friday pick up, this means that it might need to sit out on a Friday night to be picked up on Saturday instead because of a missed pick-up. Picture Friday night. Yup, way more bored, wandering youth who might decide to burn it (to be fair, that could probably be said for most neighbourhoods as I remember getting up to my fair share of trouble in Charleswood back in the day). I don't know about you, but I EXTRA don't want to get up at the crack of dawn on the weekend to put out my bins because some contractor was not doing his job the day before. I have emailed my City Councillor asking for details about the contract that they City has regarding these pick-ups, however, it has been a week and I still haven't gotten a reply (not even a "I'm looking into that for you"). Must be awesome to have a contract with no accountability.

Dear cyclist...

Dear lady cyclist on Osborne yesterday at about 415,
You or your child are going to get killed if you keep riding like that. Why you would choose to bike down construction filled Osborne during rush hour, towing a child-trailer behind you is beyond me, but I suppose your choice to make. I mean, I don't like kids at the best of times, but even I wouldn't tow a kid (anyone's kid, let alone my own if I had one) behind me in bumper to bumper traffic where said child-trailer was effectively my bumper, but I guess that's just me. Never mind the fact either that Osborne in the village area is barely wide enough for the two lanes of traffic that it almost holds sans construction, biking down it solo seems scary even then. Add a two wheeled, wide trailer into the mix and it just seems suicidal, but again, your choice.

My beef with you trendy legging with skirt wearing hipster mama, is that, after assessing that you seemed to have a death wish for you or your child - ok, to be fair I didn't actually SEE your kid in the trailer thing, but since that is what is was designed for, and you were of child bearing age and not a scrap metal collector (the other common use for those trailers, at least here in the North End) - I treated you as I believed I should and I changed lanes to pass you. I did this because it was not safe for us to try and "share the lane" in this narrow, construction laden zone.

Then, much to my horror, after I respected you and your child and I had passed you safely, you seemed to want to try and edge up next to me and pass me as we came to a stop for a light. So, this is a letter from the woman you probably thought was a "mean, aggressive typical Winnipeg driver" who pulled herself even closer to the curb so you could not pass. May I suggest, that perhaps next time, you get off your bike, and walk you and your baby safely down the sidewalk in this stretch of road, because, if you don't, you will be but a mere tragic story lining a birdcage.

Sincerely,
The Winnipeg Girl who tried to respect you.

How much of a stink do I make about it?

Pun intended.

Well, we've switched to the fancy new garbage carts on my street. I completely forgot to use it the first week that we could (August 3rd) because the autobins were still around and I was still using it. My recycling? Well, I just plain forgot to put that out, but that's nothing new - at least now the big cart holds two weeks worth.

So, enter week 2 (August 10). I put my carts out Thursday night and when I came home Friday after work, the garbage had been picked up, but not the recycling. I called 311, waited on hold for ages to talk to a real person, only to be told that the contractor had until 6pm to pick it up. It was 530. So, when of course it wasn't picked up at 6, I called back to lodge a complaint.

I was told that there were any number of reasons why the truck may have missed the pick up, however it could take up to 24 hours for the reason to be input into the system. I asked when I could expect it to be picked up. I was told to put it out on the next business day (Monday) and if it wasn't picked up on Monday it probably would be on Tuesday, but that if it wasn't picked up on Tuesday to just put it out on my next regular day (Friday). I would like to give that policy an official WTF?? So you're telling me, that if my garbage/recycling is missed, I have to wait TWO DAYS before it might be collected? Whose genius idea was it to have the North End have Friday as its pick up day? The part of town where stinky plastic bins are most likely to be set alight should wait an additional two days? If our pick up day was Monday, then in theory missed collections would be rectified on Tuesday.

Now, thankfully, my instinct told me to put the cart out again Saturday as I know from looking at the yearly schedule that they do indeed sometimes work Saturdays. It was picked up - but had I followed the advice of the 311 operator I would have been dragging it out Monday and Tuesday only to have it ignored. Now, I am an able bodied person so dragging the cart back in forth in summer is no big deal - what about my 95 year old neighbour? What about in winter when even for me it's not going to be easy, what with the giant snow rows that are created by the plows?

As well, with the removal of the autobins, there are spots all over the North End where it's very easy to see where they once were by the rubbish that surrounds the area. Before one of the bins near me was removed I called in a complaint about the bulky waste, being sure to be very specific about the type and quantity that was there. I called it in on a Thursday night and I was informed that since it hadn't been called in 48 hours before our new regularly scheduled bulky waste pick up day (also every Friday) it would be picked up the following week. It wasn't.

So not only is it completely ridiculous that I have to call it in, so that they can then send a City employee out to verify that it is what was called in (yes, that's right, there is a paid position that drives around to simply verify called in complaints. This person does not report any waste themselves, just drives right on by anything not on their list) but then they don't even pick it up???

Can you imagine if a regular person ran their business this way? They would go bankrupt in no time because of ridiculous business practices. "Hi there, I'd like to hire your to move my things to my new house" *patiently wait on the scheduled day of move, no one shows up, call movers* "Hi there, you were supposed to move me today?" "What? You will come maybe tomorrow or the next day, you don't really know?" "You expect me to still hire you and pay full price?" Yet, seemingly this is the way the contracts that the City has work. Cool. Remind me to bid on the next one as seemingly it doesn't really matter if I follow my contract.

Free Birthday stuff, updated

It's my birthday - what can I get for free? 

(This is a mildly updated post to my previous free birthday stuff post - I kept the rant in as it's still relevant sadly). Variations of "free birthday dinner Winnipeg" has become one of the biggest drivers of traffic to my blog ever since I took the word "h00ker" out of previous posts.

This post will serve as both a mini-rant and a genuine post. Being a Winnipegger, I of course love free things. However, as someone who has spent years working in the service industry, I hate people who just want free stuff because it's their birthday. I mean, really, it should be your mom that gets something free - she's the one who had a tough day xx years ago. As a server, there is almost nothing that you dread more than a squeal coming from the table and someone saying "like, omg, it's his birthday, do you guys like do anything for birthdays???!!" Assuming it's someone middle aged, the omg and like can be omitted, but the vibe is the same. The more the table expects you to do for them is directly related to what they are likely to tip. For example, the table that wants you to dress up and play some silly character that's part of a running joke (this really happened to me, and yes, I went along because in theory it should have paid off well for me) and sing/dance/give free everything will tip 7-10% if you're lucky. The table that quietly celebrates a birthday complete with cards/presents etc. but never specifically tells the server that it's someones birthday - probably more in the range of 15-20%. Yes Winnipeg, 15-20%. Get over it. That is what it's supposed to be. Not 10%. However the longer version of this rant is for another post. Update: last night I served a table that when I offered dessert specifically said: "It's her birthday, does she get free dessert?" When I said no, no one ordered dessert. They tipped $12 on $175. Proof that my theory above is still going strong.

So, the reason you're really here, where to find some free birthday goodies. Of course most of the chain restaurants will do something - Montana's might make you wear the cootie infested moose horns, sing and give some sort of dessert if memory serves (they used to offer your friends the chance to pie you in the face with whipped cream, glad that's over), CRApplebee's used to make their poor servers sing and then bring free dessert, Old Spaghetti Factory same deal (bonus points if you get the guy with the crazy fun booming voice as part of your serenade) Tony Roma's is slightly more clever, they give you a card to come back for a free appetizer on your NEXT visit, and The Keg, my general exception to my "I hate chain restaurants" rule, will give a slice of their fantastic Billy Miner Pie. If I was in North Dakota I could visit every Manitobans favourite quasi-Mexican restaurant, Paradiso. Paradiso gets points from a server standpoint for only providing free dinner on the actual day of your birthday, ID required - I don't know if you've noticed, but on Friday/Saturday night at a chain restaurants it's EVERYONE'S birthday.... coincidence? Not likely.

One of my absolute favourite places in the city to nosh, fude, also does a free birthday dinner, but I keep putting off joining their VIP club thing (which you need to do) because my friends are all to cheap frugal practical cheap to ever want to eat there on a regular basis, so I always figure I won't get to take advantage of it. I seem to recall a few years ago that a car wash somewhere in the South End would give you a free car wash on your birthday, and I think Dutch Maid did free ice cream.

Update: I've recently discovered that Boon Burger on Sherbrook (not sure if the new East Exchange location is open yet?)  will give you a free burger, even the biggest meat eaters will love Boon, a vegan burger place. Boon is also smart enough to say that ID may be required. I also believe that Johnny G's does a free birthday dinner, but if I recall there are a bunch of conditions besides having ID - I think maybe you need to have at least 4 people having dinner at the table to get it?

It seems to me that years ago there were a lot more places that offered something free on your birthday, maybe I'm wrong, please comment if you know of one that I have missed, or a favourite from days gone by.
So what is the moral of this post? Well, basically if there is free stuff out there because it's your birthday, obviously take advantage of it, after all, it would almost be wrong as a Winnipegger not to; however, don't be obnoxious about it, take your free stuff with no singing and dancing (the staff will appreciate it, you're not 7 years old after all) and tip appropriately and we can all get along :)

School Zone speeds

I am mostly needing to rant and a 140 character tweet just wasn't going to cut it.

Just this morning a motion was put forward to reduce the speeds in school zones to 40km/hr; and then another motion to reduce ALL residential streets to 40km/hr. None of this is news as such, discussions have been ongoing in the papers for a little while about this concept. There have been some good responses to this that I have seen, however I don't remember where, so sorry, no links - if I paraphrase what you wrote somewhere else, please forgive me.

So, first of all, does this seriously mean that they are wanting to lower stretches of major arteries like Grant, Pembina and Henderson to 40 near schools? Grant is already ridiculous enough being set at 50 - it's two lanes with a boulevard in the middle - why on earth is it 50 in the first place, it should be 60.

While I'm ranting, why on earth is the freaking number one HIGHWAY 70km/hr when the residential strip of Roblin in the same section (roughly the perimeter to Headingley) 80km/hr??

So, my proposition is this: since, as someone else already put it (somewhere) - perhaps 40 on residential streets wouldn't be the worst thing in the world due to the condition of our roads, lets say that any street that has two lanes in either direction must be at least 50 (school zone or not) and if those two lanes have a boulevard in the middle? Well, then it would be a 60km/hr zone.

I don't know how many children are injured near schools every year, but I do know that children are freaking everywhere not just near schools. Never mind the fact that the two options would then make the speed enforceable only during "school hours" (sorry kids with after school activities, no safety for you!) which would involve a lot of confusing signage, OR enforceable ALL the time, which would mean cash grabs galore as photo radar would be set up nabbing speed demons clocking 51km/hr on a Saturday night.

How about we teach kids about street safety instead? When I was growing up it was impressed upon me to look out for cars, that they couldn't stop on a dime. To this day, even after I push the crosswalk button (or especially at crosswalks without the lights) I wait until I make eye contact with the drivers of the oncoming cars, or at least confirm that they're slowing down for me, before I head out into the street. I constantly see people push the button and blindly walk out into the street; yes, technically people are allowed to do that, as drivers we are supposed to be scanning ahead for that sort of thing. Of course, if you end up dead, being right doesn't do you much good.

(Mostly) Free Money!!

Oh how time flies! It seems like it was just the other day I was writing about how certain members of City Council were trying to take money from one program to put in to the Home Renovation Tax Assistance (HRTA) program instead. Well, the HRTA program is still around (and still is a great program if you ask me) and is only just finally going to council for approval tomorrow. The report that is being submitted can be found here. In previous years the HRTA funding status has been passed and put into play by the end of May at the latest.

Assuming I am reading the report correctly, it seems as though they haven't been using all of the funds (good thing Russ Wyatt wanted to put more in it).

"The transfer of $339,964 of prior years’ unspent HRTA program budgets to the Planning, Property and Development Department’s (PP&D) 2013 operating budget will allow for up to 1,319 approved applicants. The $339,964 represents one-third of the available unallocated Program credits of $1,019,981 currently credited to the Housing Rehabilitation Investment Reserve (i.e. $829,389 as at December 31, 2011 plus
$190,502 in unused credits from the 2012 budget year)."

Again, I think this is a great program that "...reduces the perception that property owners are penalized by tax increases for improving their properties and it encourages property owners to take out building permits thereby promoting the quality of construction in meeting applicable building, electrical and plumbing codes. ...also encourages energy efficient renovations by providing additional tax credits through harmonization with the technical requirements of the Manitoba Hydro Power Smart Program" and I think that three major factors are keeping people from using it.

First, and I'm sure there are a few of you out there who can chime in with personal stories attesting to this; the length of time it often takes to get a permit. If you want people to do things in a certain way, it's probably best to make it easy for them.

Second, does anyone even know about this program? Perhaps when they mail out property tax bills they should notify all of the eligible homeowners - it should be simple enough to tell the computer who gets that message printed on their bill (assuming it passes, that would be anyone who has a house built before January 1, 1987 and valued at less than $218,000).

Third, although the credits can be received retroactively, they need to have their ducks in a row long before July 11th. Especially in a year like this where the outdoor construction season got such an early start. It also doesn't do anyone much good if they are completing projects that qualify for the program that don't normally need permits (to get the credit you still go through the motions of getting one). Why, especially if I didn't know about this program, would I go down to the permit office and get a "permit" for replacing my roof or windows? As well, I happen to know that it can be applied for retroactively, however I don't see that information anywhere on the HRTA part of the City site.

A quick synopsis of how to get your free money from the City of Winnipeg (it is being asked that the same guidelines below be used for 2012). Receive up to $2250, at a maximum of $750 per year off your property tax, based on this criteria:

Eligible Renovations

The 2011 Home Renovation Tax Assistance Program has two categories of eligible renovations:

• Standard Renovations – Generally, the following standard renovations are eligible for a 5% tax credit:
  • Renovating kitchens, bathrooms and unfinished basements.
  • Building an addition to a home that will be utilized as a year-round living space.
  • Installing, repairing or upgrading a plumbing system or electrical system or a ventilation system, but not including an air conditioner.
  • Reinforcing or repairing a foundation or basement, including weeping tile, excavation and related landscaping.
  • Home security alarms
  • Installing or repairing exterior sheathing, roofing, shingling, soffits, fascia, eavestroughing, doors or windows (excluding skylight windows).
  • Installing or repairing a water or sewer system, including excavation and related landscaping.
  • Purchasing and installing a low flush toilet.
  • Modifying a home to accommodate a disabled person or renovating for reasons of safety or occupant health.
  • Repairing a home to ensure or maintain compliance with the Maintenance and Occupancy By-Law.
  • Constructing or repairing a deck, verandah or garage.
• Energy Efficiency Renovations – Generally, the following energy efficiency renovations that meet or exceed Manitoba Hydro Power Smart guidelines are eligible for a 8.33% tax credit:
  • Renovating an unfinished basement with insulation to the walls and floors.
  • Upgrading a primary heating system.
  • Upgrading an electrical system.
  • Upgrading a ventilation system.
  • Insulating walls and an attic.
  • Upgrading and insulating doors and windows.

For further information, visit the Manitoba Hydro website at www.hydro.mb.ca.

Ineligible Renovations

Generally, the following renovations are ineligible:

• Building or repairing a fence, driveway, patio or sidewalk unless necessary to maintain the structural integrity of the home or for safety or occupant health reasons.
• Installing or repairing a play structure or swimming pool.
• Landscaping, unless related to excavation work.
• Interior decorating such as installing wallpaper, blinds or drapes.
• Interior and exterior painting and installing or repairing floor covering unless related to eligible renovations, necessary to maintain the structural integrity of the home or for safety or occupant health reasons.
• Installing or repairing a household appliance, skylight windows, fireplace, hot tub or jacuzzi, secondary heating system, heat pump unless it is the primary heating source, air conditioner, back-up generator,  air purification system, radio or television antenna or satellite dish, lawn sprinkler system, awnings or any improvements that are not permanently affixed to a home.
• Modification to a home to allow a non-residential use or multi-family use.
• Constructing or repairing an accessory building such as a greenhouse, gazebo or sunroom.

So, there you have it. Spread the word, tell your friends and neighbours! And while you're at it, ask you local counicllor why you didn't know about this sooner and why it's only being passed in July.

Here I go again...

In a post that ties in with my last one about boundaries and how they relate to the perceptions of crime in this city, I have another example of how the media often gives a negative bias to the North End. In this article from the Free Press on Saturday, there were 6 fire incidents reported (well, 8, but two were 2-for-1 deals). The two fires that were OUTSIDE of the North End simply had their approximate address given, no neighbourhood. 3 were listed giving both the xxx-block of xxx AND pointed out that was in the North End, and one was listed as being in Shaugnessy Park (so, they do get points for not calling it the North End, since, y'know, it wasn't).

I've taken the liberty of tweaking this article for the Free Press.

THERE were two house fires and six garage fires in the city overnight Friday.
The first fire broke out in the 400 block of Boyd Avenue in the North End St. John's in a garage late Thursday, causing $8,000 in damage. This was followed by a fire at a home in the 1300 block of Raleigh Street in Munroe West at around 12:40 a.m. There was a total of $20,000 in damage to the home and contents.
Hours later, police were called to a garage and shed fires on Magnus Avenue in the Shaughnessy Park area at around 2 a.m.
An hour later, another fire broke out in a home in the 600 block of Selkirk Avenue in the North End William Whyte* (*could have been Dufferin, depends what side of the street it was), causing $80,000 in damage. Soon after, at around 3:30 a.m., there was another garage fire in the 100 block of Enfield Crescent in Norwood, causing a total of $35,000 in damage.
At around 6 a.m., firefighters were called to another two garage fires in the 200 block of Pritchard Avenue in the North End William Whyte. The total damage from the first fire was $10,000, while there was no damage estimate available for the second.
No one was injured.

Of course, it also could have been written in a more simple way that would force those hell bent on coming up with a negative attitude towards a particular area to do some research:

THERE were two house fires and six garage fires in the city overnight Friday.
The first fire broke out in the 400 block of Boyd Avenue in the North End in a garage late Thursday, causing $8,000 in damage. This was followed by a fire at a home in the 1300 block of Raleigh Street at around 12:40 a.m. There was a total of $20,000 in damage to the home and contents.
Hours later, police were called to a garage and shed fires on  in the XXX block(s) of Magnus Avenue in the Shaughnessy Park area at around 2 a.m.
An hour later, another fire broke out in a home in the 600 block of Selkirk Avenue in the North End, causing $80,000 in damage. Soon after, at around 3:30 a.m., there was another garage fire in the 100 block of Enfield Crescent, causing a total of $35,000 in damage.
At around 6 a.m., firefighters were called to another two garage fires in the 200 block of Pritchard Avenue in the North End. The total damage from the first fire was $10,000, while there was no damage estimate available for the second.
No one was injured.

 See how easy that was to stop shouting NORTH END?  I am no dummy, I know there is crime here, and I'm not against it being reported; the crimes are a fact, facts should be reported. All I ask is that in a city already so biased against a particular part of town is that the media don't fuel the fire. As you just read, we have enough of them here already.

Boundaries

Sigh. Well, looks like the North End is to blame again, even when it isn't. By now you've all heard about the story about the puppy found in a dumpster, but what I bet you didn't know is that Jefferson Ave. is in the North End. That's because it isn't. Although according to the Free Press story it is.

A little Rayne never hurt anyone, so why would someone toss the cute little puppy into a city Dumpster?
That's what staff at Winnipeg's Animal Services Agency -- and a whole bunch of Free Press online commenters -- are asking after the eight-week-old shepherd-collie mix was found wet and cold in a North End Dumpster last week.

...

Rayne was given medical care and vitamins, and "(has) been eating a lot while she's been here," said Gordon, noting the puppy has gained a pound in the few days since she was found in a dumpster on Jefferson Avenue.

Now, admittedly, I'm more sensitive to these sorts of things and although it would be hypocritical of me not to complain if this was a positive news story that was being pegged as the North End if it happened on Jefferson, I don't think that kind of mix-up generally happens the other way around. I don't know where exactly on Jefferson Rayne was found, but it was likely somewhere in West Kildonan or The Maples, NOT the North End.

However, I do have a North End quick story for ya. So last night, after finally falling asleep (I've somehow injured my rotator cuff I think, and boy, does it make everything uncomfortable, especially sleeping!) I was jolted back to life by a hard and fast pounding on the front door. My roommate was first to answer it, but it appears the police had been led to believe that someone at my residence was being stabbed. No idea where they got this thought, but they seemed content with my roommate's simple, "um, no" and went on their way, waking neighbours up across the street, trying to find a stabbing in progress. 5 police cars later, they all left, not having been able to figure out who was being stabbed. My roommate wondered as to where our "regular" cops were - the ones who have come to take statements on more than one occasion.  Must've been their night off.

Milking this post for all it's worth

So, last night I was about to make dinner when my plans were thwarted as I needed milk to complete the recipe. What culinary delight was I making you ask? Cereal. Fruit Loops to be exact. Don't judge. Besides, if "breakfast is the most important meal of the day" and cereal is good enough for breakfast, simple logic would dictate that it is also good enough for every other meal too. Besides, when the hunger pangs strike I can be eating a mere 30 seconds later (well, if I have milk) - take that "real food"!

Off I headed, on foot no less, as although I love my cars, even I would have to hate myself for driving such a short distance. I was headed to Shell because if memory served correctly, the two little corner shops (about a block away in either direction) leave a little to be desired when it comes to milk and other perishable items. However, my imminent hunger and my desire to support the little guy caused me to stop in my neighbor had me stop at the little shop that was on my way. I was in luck! There was 1% milk ready and waiting for me! I had brought a toonie with me, as many years of buying milk at Sev while I pick up a Slurpee has taught me that milk being more expensive at convience stores is a myth, due to "maximum milk prices". That said, the maximum milk price applies only to the 1 litre size, so at Sev and the like if I need 2 litres I just buy two of the 1 litre size as it saves about $0.75.

So imagine my surprise when the gentleman told me it was $2.19! Since it had been keyed in manually rather than scanned, I pointed out that it was only a 1 litre, surely he was mistaken. Nope. He wanted $2.19 for it. So off I headed to Shell after all. Where it was $1.53. Curious, when I got home, I asked Google to confirm for me what I believed to be true about milk prices, and, sure enough, $1.53 is the maximum for a 1 litre of 1% milk.

 SCHEDULE A
(Section 4)
Maximum retail prices for the following types of Class 1 milk in a 1 litre container:
TYPE OF CLASS 1 MILK MAXIMUM PRICE FOR
1 LITRE CONTAINER
Homogenized Milk $1.66
2% Milk $1.59
1% Milk $1.53
Skim Milk $1.49

(in case you were wondering what the maximums for all sizes were)

So, this morning I made a formal complaint about the little store. Part of me feels bad, as I know that it can be harder for the little guy to compete, however another part of me thinks that their big mark-ups should be on things like candy, chips, chocolate bars and pop - not milk. Even if they had a smaller mark-up, say $0.25 instead of the whopping $0.66 - I might not have even noticed, but in a community with so many food security issues in the first place, it just seems a bit too cheeky. Of course, I suppose I am thankful that we don't suffer the same fate at Nunavut, which recently has been in the news due to their extremely high food prices. Although, I didn't check the cost of a 4 litre at that same store, if I was to buy it in 1 litre containers, it would cost a whopping $8.76! That's $2.64 more than 150m up the road at Shell - almost enough for two more litres.

On another note, I got this extremely weird search that led people to my blog today: 
eat legal basement apartment how do I get the pants addicted in Winnipeg
I don't even think I can try to figure out what that means.

Just how hot IS the Winnipeg real estate market?

No, this isn't about how there were four or five listings that sold last month for over a million, although if everyone employed the following method, I can understand why.

Remember back in June 2011 (yes, that's right A YEAR AGO) when I wrote about the former bicycle shop on Selkirk Ave that was for sale? Well, at that time, it was $149,000. It is now a year later, an entire year that that property has sat there, unsold and now they want $169,000. Yup, $20,000 more.

Now, one could argue that real estate values in Winnipeg have gone up xx% in the last year and that the price increase makes sense blah blah blah. Sure, it makes sense if someone had've been willing to pony up the $149k last year. However since Winnipeggers are irrationally afraid of the North End known to be ridiculously cheap a touch frugal, do we really think that all of a sudden they will realize decide that this gem is worth $20k more simply because a year has passed?

Bonkers I say. So, to you prudent potential property purchaser of  prime North End real estate, let the record show that 354 Selkirk Ave will should probably take an offer of $149,000. Logic would dictate that at that price point last year it was over priced or it would have sold, so therefore whatever perceived increase in value there has been over the past year could perhaps reflect a purchase price of $149k to NOW be accurate.

It also appears as though 1070 McIvor has been sold - I am waiting for my invites to the final and first parties - clearly my blog was the catalyst for the sale.

It's finally here... sort of; Roof still caving in

A month or so ago I attended a meeting to talk about the new garbage collection system that will be going city-wide, but more specifically about here in the North End as they replace the aging autobins. I live tweeted the event, mostly because I couldn't just stand up an yell and shout like I wanted to (although that didn't stop one crazy dude who kept getting off track) and partly because I don't normally attend things that people might be interested in hearing updates from.

One of the pieces of information that I was most excited to hear about was the new "App" that the City was going to have for/about waste collection. One of the things I find most difficult with reporting bulky waste to 311 is the inane questions that I get back from the operators before they will submit my complaint "ok, so you say there is an abandoned sofa behind the address in question (because god forbid you don't give them a specific address), how many inches is it away from the alley? (because if they deem it to be on private property, you know, not FULLY in the lane even though it's clearly abandoned then they send a different department, who will issue an order, and then the resident of the house will move it the few inches into the lane, and then you have to call it in again to have it picked up...) Does the sofa have a floral print or is a solid colour? (ok, I may have made this one up, but I'm sure I'll be asked it one day) So, it was my belief based on what we were told at the meeting, that an App was on the way that would allow us to report these things direct from our phone, including sending photos!

Well, the App is here, but, disappointingly does not offer what I was hoping for. The majority of the links seem to direct you to contact 311, have no automatic link to have your phone dial it, and the email function is also not at all what I find user friendly. It will let you send an email only from your email address set up on your phone (which I don't have as I have had difficulty setting up my Hotmail/Gmail and having them sync with things in real time) which does not offer the option of attaching a photo even if I could manage to use it. What it really needs is a built in contact sheet, similar to what their website offers for contacting 311 that does not require you to send it from your email directly but just from that page. (I'm sure there is a technical term for that but I have no idea what it is.)

Notice there is not even a email link on this page, nor mention of abandoned wast

The App also does not make mention of what to do in the case of illegally abandoned waste and how someone might go about reporting that. To be fair, the City doesn't seem to have been the ones to develop this App, but they need to be sure they're getting their moneys worth from this "My Waste" company and have them help to tailor it to our community.

This whole thing brings me to an excellent example of how I would use this App, if it worked in the way I wanted to. Following up on the work of A Day in the Hood, it seems as though the house that has been collapsing upon itself since at least September 15th 2010 (MY first email to the City about this problem) still isn't fixed. Sure, the house has gotten some attention, it looks a lot better from the front street now, but why the heck is the back addition still in this condition?

The roof keeps falling down further, and further...

This house is not occupied and the person who owns the property owns numerous properties in the community - if the cost of dealing with the problem is too great, perhaps they can sell off a property or two to help with that. If this property was actually occupied (as a primary/only residence) I could see the City extending leniency to allow the owner to raise the funds needed to fix the problem however I see no reasonable reason for this problem to continue.

I am an evil genius

Okay, first, lets get this out of the way - I'm sure someone has touched on this, as that's the kind of crowd you are, but I missed it if you did, so please enlighten me: if the new gas tax that was added last Monday was 2.5c/litre, why did all the gas prices go up 2.SIX cents??? Anyone? Anyone? Bueller?

Now, I am nowhere near the caliber of these guys, who took extreme advantage of a program that American Airlines offered, getting millions of dollars in value out of a one time, albeit fairly hefty, investment. I also can't believe that they seemed to earn points in the loyalty reward program on top of unlimited "free" first class flights. For those of you that think flying is a chore and who would want to do that anyway, let me tell ya, as someone who has been lucky enough to fly just Business Class (not First) it no longer really becomes a chore. The ability to check in basically as late as possible, then any of that pesky waiting time is spent in a room with any amenity you might want for free (no $15 bland sandwiches here folks) and especially now as airlines are reconfiguring their planes, any long haul flight will almost certainly have a lay flat bed to rest your pretty little head. Oh and bad airline food? Not really - first class folks get food that you can identify, and as much of it as they want. -->This girl<-- got real Haagen Dazs ice cream bars when the good folk at Cathay Pacific were good enough to bump me up. The only real downside to this whole thing was that they were flying a North American airline rather than and Asian one. Seriously, if ever given a chance always fly an Asian airline, the stewardesses and counter staff are actually kind of... what's that word... oh yes, FRIENDLY (note, this is more a slag at United and Air Canada rather than WestJet, who are generally quite pleasant, however have limited international destinations).

One last side note before I get to my real point, I've added flying "Upper Class" on Virgin Atlantic to my bucket list, ideally departing London Heathrow. They send a car to pick you up, you check in from the car, you get a separate security channel to whisk you behind security to their Clubhouse. Their Clubhouse offers anything you could possibly want, a fully stocked bar with real cocktails not just ________ and Coke. Hungry? Order whatever you want to eat, no cold buffet here like in the Star Alliance lounge. What's that? Need a haircut? Manicure? Maybe a massage is more your style? Seriously, check out all the wonderful things on offer. If I have any mysterious benefactors out there who would like to help me indulge in this I would be forever grateful. Maybe Richard Branson needs a Canadian reviewer???

So moving on to things that are attainable. The Aeroplan Star Challenge. I was sent a nifty little email telling me that up to 16,500 Aeroplan miles were up for grabs this month. After reading the fine print (someone please feel free to read it and break my heart or confirm my dreams) it seems that all I need to do is make 33 purchases over the next month to get my 66 stars (I have an Aeroplan Visa so I get an automatic 5 stars). Now, further to that, it seems as though there is no minimum purchase required for any of these transactions. Which means that I could buy 33 one dollar items at Rexall, go to Sobeys 33 times and spend two bucks (Sobeys points convert at two to one) or as part of my goal, purchase, ahem,  23 separate 45's off eBay, signing in through the eStore first. So basically, if I didn't have the financial card, I would need to make 35 purchases, which in theory means that for $39.92 ($35 plus taxes, the dollar needs to be pre-tax I think at Rexall) I could get 16,500 Aeroplan points, which is enough for a flight to Toronto!

See. Evil Genius.

If I paid half as much attention to the stock market as I do customer loyalty programs I would be a very very wealthy woman. Over the years I have taken 15 free flights, including Business Class to South America and tickets to London and Central America all with Airmiles and Aeroplan.

How to dine out in Winnipeg

After this post the world may end as it will be a case of worlds colliding. That's right, I am letting a little bit more than usual of Winnipeg Girl's "real life" slip into this post. When I'm not busy writing my little blog, scouring second-hand stores and estate sales, up-cycling crap treasures from same, working at my regular 9-5, I am but a humble servant server at one of the many eating establishments here in the 'Peg.

Before I get on to the real meat and potatoes of my post though, a question: Is Stella's the new Grapes? Branigans? Now before any Hipsters spit out their fair-trade, locally-roasted java and start camping out in protest, let me explain. At one point, we'll call it the ninty-eighties, Grapes was King of the Locals. In the years leading up to my 18th birthday I dreamed of the day when I would finally get my turn to dance the night away on a Sunday (!) night at Pier 7 or Grapes on Main. Even when I started my first serving job, lore of the bartenders for Grapes was legendary. If I'm remembering correctly, in its heyday there were at least 6 Grapes locations, including bizarrely 2 barely 500m from each other downtown (at Main and on St. Mary where Pony Corral is now).

Stella's, while an entirely different concept is also expanding quicker than you can blink an eye. What was once a quaint little place that needed no explanation as to which location, simply "Stella's for breakfast?" Branigans, which for the record, the worst restaurant I have ever worked in - by far, is another one-time local favourite that expanded too big for its britches - even having a location in Grand Forks at one point! If you've ever wondered why the employees at Branigan's at The Forks tried to unionize I will offer this as one example: It was demanded that I be at work 15 minutes early, unpaid (or they would write me up for being late) and then, on their whim they would change my start time to later because it wasn't busy enough to start paying me.

So, while I wish Stella's the best, and I hope they enjoy their surge in popularity, I also hope they don't end up wearing out their welcome. Most of the hipsters will inevitably turn into boring assimilated adults with middle-class lives that keep them from sitting in coffee shops for hours on end and going for brunch every Sunday and Stella's will either need to adapt or the next local mega-chain will be ready to take its place. Although, perhaps in their case an expansion to Grand Forks would give me somewhere to dine besides the soulless theme and chain restaurants that dominate there.

Which brings me to the instructional part of this post which was prompted by the recent influx of diners using gift cards they received during the holidays. Near as I can tell many of these people have never dined out before. How nice of someone to give them the chance.

How to dine out in Winnipeg (in no particular order except #1)

1. Intend to enjoy yourself and not find fault with everything. You'd be amazed at how much of a difference this makes.
2. If you are dining at a chain restaurant do not get annoyed with the server for constantly interrupting you to ask how everything is or introducing themselves by name. We don't really want to do that but management makes us. If, for some reason a server does not interrupt you to ask how everything is and you have a problem, please politely get their attention and tell them what is wrong, your server genuinely does want to make it better. You are an adult, part of the onus of enjoying your dinner is on you. You may not eat everything on your plate and then complain that it wasn't good. Yes this happens. All the time. Oh, and all the "you guys" haters, get over it, we have limited ways to address mixed company.
3. This goes hand in hand with #2, do not order your steak well done; that is why you did not enjoy it. Further to that, do not specify you want it "well done, but make sure it's not burnt". I love that at fude on Osborne they won't cook it past medium-rare.
4. Do not come in 10 minutes before close. If you notice that there is only one staff member around and one other table in the restaurant, this is a good indicator that they are closed soon. Ask.
5. The entire point of a reservation is so that the restaurant can prepare adequately for your arrival by staffing properly and having tables available. Hold up your end of the bargain and show up on time with the amount of people that you reserved for. A reservation for 25 where only 15 show up probably means that someone got scheduled for a shift that they weren't needed for. Yes, this also happens all the time. One day I will write a more detailed post as to why proper reservations are so important.
6. Say please and thank you.
7. Tip. I didn't invent the way our society works, but sufficed to say, if tipping wasn't a common practice in our society it would be built into the price so that the staff could be paid more. I know all of the cheapskates out there are referencing Mr. Pink in their head right now, but I assure you, if I was only paid minimum wage with no chance for tips you would actually see what bad service was like. Why on earth would any server or bartender play mediator/psychologist/babysitter/mindreader etc. when for that same 10 bucks an hour they could __________________ (I don't want to undermine any other job in particular, but there is more than one minimum wage job where being alive is about the only qualification).
8. Let me expand on Tip. This means that you tip on the total of your bill before any coupons/discounts/gift card amounts were taken off. According to Trip Advisor, you should be tipping 15-20%. Just because you drank 7 free refills of pop and the 8th one came after #7 ran out, you did NOT have poor service. So, if you went out for dinner and it was $100 and you used the $75 gift card you got from Grandma for Christmas when the debit machine asks what you'd like to put in for a tip, in this case you wouldn't want to use the "%" button as it will only calculate it on the remaining $25. I dare say if you had a gift card/coupon tip more to the 20% side, heck, you had a nice dinner out for not much out of your own pocket - pass on the good tidings.
9. You are not allergic to _________. You may not really like _________, or it may give you the shits later, but you are not allergic. Tell me that you don't really like it and I won't take you any less seriously and I will still try really hard to make sure it doesn't end up anywhere near your food. However, now my cooks will not have to stop everything, clean off all of their tools and grill so that you don't die. See the difference? Ever wonder why sometimes your food takes a little longer, it might just be because someone is lying about an allergy. That said, if you have an allergy please don't be afraid to tell me so that I can make sure we take all the proper precautions. Dead people don't tip.
10. Intend to enjoy yourself. Seriously, you have no idea how big a difference it makes. I have served people where all sorts of things have gone wrong (as I am a human and so are they) but because they weren't looking for excuses to save a few bucks on the tip they still had a great time, rolled with the punches and probably couldn't have remembered the next day what had gone wrong. It's just dinner people, not the end of the world.

Now, these rules are by no means an exhaustive list, and if you have ever worked in the service industry they are probably pretty redundant. However, if you haven't, please pass it on. For some additional reading may I suggest pretty much anything by the Bitchy Waiter or this exquisite response to a bad customer at Fuck My Table.