Thursday, April 7, 2011

Dear National Retailers...

Hi there giant corporation, I live in Winnipeg, you may have heard of us before; Winterpeg, Manisnowba?  While I appreciate you and your glossy weekly circulars (actually, those are bad unless you're using paper from sustainable forests or recycled paper or whatever the current greener trend is) and your spam informative emails that you send me (I'm a points and deal junkie - there are some good things in your emails. SOME. Let's strive for quality not quantity please), I would like to tell you a little about our climate.

We still have snow.

Oh, and... we still have snow.  So, while I may be in need of a grass trimmer and grass seed in the future, I don't really need it now.  Canadian Tire, I'm tempted by your sale on Chest Waders, as we have an impending flood, however I am unlikely to need home car wash supplies until it stops going below zero at night. I think that maybe you may have meant those Chest Waders for fishing, which if I tried to stand in a lake or river now I would freeze to death, or be swept away to it.

Replacing my patio furniture seems like a great idea, however we will have to wait until I can get the old stuff out of the ice in the back yard.  For this I will grant you the advertisement of outdoor heaters - those I could really use.  Maybe if I stand close enough to those heaters I might need the sunscreen that Rexall has a special on. Sunscreen. In April.

While I'm at it, please do not try to sell me Christmas decorations before Halloween and Valentine hearts and chocolates should not be seen starting on boxing day. Of course, if you understood the Winnipeg market at all you would know that we all bought our new patio furniture last fall when it was on clearance and we can buy seasonal chocolates and candies at *Leader's anytime for about half the price.

Winnipeg Girl

*That link will take you to a good forum that tells you a bit about Leader's, however if you're too lazy busy to check it out, the short version is this: CHEAP. CHOCOLATE. CANDY. CASH (as in bring it, they don't take cards). 279 Sutherland, almost unmarked door, use secret code words "North End Gem" to gain access.

1 comment:

  1. Bah! I've already put out patio furniture and washed my car in the driveway. It's April! Where are my golf clubs??